Maybe it's just me...

Today isn't a great day. By far it's not a day i'm looking forward to continueing. I'm in a mood this day. I, right at this very moment, hate El Dorado. I want out, i want to leave this life. I'm tired of these chains wrapped around me keeping me here. I'm not meant for this town, for this group, for this life. My life is somewhere else, and i need to find it.

I'm tired of drama. Seriously were a christian gorup, but no one has the nerve to bring up the problems and confront them. We act like a bunch of cheerleaders half the time. I'm tired of caring what someone has to say about my situation in life. I'm tired of all the she said he said lolly gagging going around.

I'm tired of feeling the obligation to have to try to prove myself, or try to fit in with people. Honestly when i'm with my group of freinds i have to watch what i say and do becuase i know if i did or said something, someone would get mad and suddenly it's Bad Noah. It shouldn't be that way. 

I"m tired of school. I'm tired of comeing to this useless dump where we hug and caress those ignorant people that will make it no where in life, but someone like me who has a dream and a mind to fulfill that dream, gets bogged down with all the useless junk of this school. it's a school of meth and drugs and drama and drunking, and i want out...it's torture. I can't handle it anymore. I can't look at the people with grace anymore.....they don't want help and nothing i've done has helped. I just feel hopless here.

I'm tired of work...but that's a given.

And lastly i'm just tired. I just want to sleep...i just want to lay down and rest, read a good book. Write a short story, do something i thuroughly enjoy. Recharge myself. 

What i'm trying to say in all this jab....is pray for me....i don't know what's goin on in my life, but i need some help.....